At Center Neptune, Zark keeps the galaxy safe from all alien invaders. And today his Articulators are especially full, as he is checking out reports of radioactivity, seismic soundings, strange bursts of light, and solar flares, all coming from the vincinity of Planet Jupiter.
Of course, he looks plenty busy just standing in the middle of the room.
His 'finely tuned diodes' tell him that this may be trouble. And trouble usually means Zoltar. Zark flies over to his console as he contemplates this horrible truth. Maybe he should forget Jupiter and try to look in on Zoltar.
But what Zark finds is so shocking, sparks fly from his antennae and fingertips!
Whatever's going on up there is too hot for Zark's scanners to handle!
The Luminous One is talking to Zoltar. Apparently Spectra has made an ally of Commander Typhon. Because of this, all they ever wanted for Spectra is in their grasp. Typhon is an exile from his own Planet, Scorpius. He will help Zoltar conquer Earth is Spectra helps him re-conquer Scorpius.
Why is the Luminous One willing to go to all of this trouble? Well, Typhon posesses a weapon that Spectra must have. Zoltar bows to the Spirit's will.
Of course, Commander Typhon is none other than... Captain Plungerhead. No wonder he got kicked off his own planet! Clearly the citizens there weren't fond of his fashion choices.
Typhon is on Spectra right now, and he sends his weapon up into space. It consists of five rockets that open to release parts of a giant metal scorpion. The scorpion lands on Jupiter's moon (Which one? Aren't there over 60 of them?) and breaks up the ground into rocks, then shoots the rocks at the Earth!
Susan on Planet Pluto calls Zark, warning him of the incoming meteorites. They're coming directly for Capital City!
Zark cheerily replies that he will order the entire area to be evacuated at once. He also orders G-Force to stand by in the Ready Room while he locates the exact source of the meteorites.
We see shots of buildings being destroyed, but no people getting hurt.
A commercial break, and we cut to a man-shouldered, horse-faced Princess playing Guitar in the Ready Room.
She hopes Zark can cope with this tragedy. Tiny reaches for another Spaceburger as he says that he is too shook up to eat Spaceburgers.
Mark and Jason are playing a game of 'who can stick their butt out the farthest'.
Oops, it's actually ping pong. Mark thinks it's one problem G-Force won't be called on to tackle, because you can't fight nature.
Jason points out that Zoltar might have dreamed up something like this.
Princess thinks that Zark has his mind fixed on Zoltar's warped mind. She must have slipped on her pointy Madonna bra for this conversation.
Keyop declares that Zoltar is sick.
Then he grooves to the beat of his drums.
The drum playing is so fabulous that Mark misses his ping pong shot.
And knocks Tiny's Spaceburger out of his hand.
(Sorry, I must take a break... I'm laughing so hard at these screenshots I can barely type!)
Zark interrupts the conversation. Tiny doesn't look too happy about any of this.
Zark has an emergency readout on the meteorite problem. His Space Spectometer has discovered that the meteorites are coming from Jupiter's Callisto moon. Aha! A name! Zark says that Jupiter only has 12 moons, though.
Mark thinks the whole thing is weird. I think this animation of Mark is pretty darn weird too!
Mark says the moons are too barren for anything to happen. Princess wants to know why there would be any activity there. Um, because barren places are good spots for making meteorites?
Zark says that Commander Typon has landed there with a strange device. Zark's Mercury Vapor Sensor tells him that Typhon is in league with Zoltar!
Jason says that he knew it wasn't all just natural.
Keyop burbles incomprehensibly.
(I need another laughing break...)
Zark points out that the Earth moon wasn't the target because of course, it's so close that Zark would have detected this evil activity immediately and stopped it by setting up counter-offensives.
Princess wants to know if this means that Earth is defenseless. They're not... if G-Force is ready to take off for Callisto!
G-Force talks to Zark in the Ready Room.
G-Force declares that they're ready to go!
Notice how Mark is taller than Jason in these last few shots? I wonder how Joe Asakura feels about that?
The floor drops out below the G-Force Team...
And then they're off and running in Birdstyle to the Phoenix. They launch for Callisto!
They're ready for blast off to Jupiter's moon.
"Green cheese!" says Keyop. No one bothers to correct him. At least Tiny didn't get a hankering for a 'green cheese burger'.
"I'll never get used to those first hundred million miles." says a tired-looking Mark, once they've done their space jump.
"Murder!" agrees Keyop.
Zark calls to tell the Team that they're in 'perfect orbit'. Mark says it's good to hear Zark's voice, because they feel 'a little out of touch up there'. Zark assures the G-Force Commander that he's with them 'all the way'. He gives them turn by turn directions out of the inner solar system, then left 2 degrees to be on target for Mars. Wait, I thought they were going to Jupiter?
Zark then gives us the cheery news that there are thousands of flaming asteroids and comets between Mars and Jupiter.
Once they arrive at Callisto, Zark tells them that they have 'good driving'. Riiight.
Princess thinks Callisto is beautiful, until they see another set of meteorites headed for Earth. Jason reminds us that they'll be balls of fire when they get there.
The Team sees the scorpion, and Mark realizes that they are being perfectly controlled by Spectra.
The Phoenix's progress is monitored by Typhon.
We cut to Zark after the commercial break. His monitors are dirty and he's washing them. Oh no! There's a horrible new monster on Callisto, now!
Oh, it's okay, it's only his reflection in the glass. I can see why he thought it was a 'horrible monster'. I would too, if I saw Zark in the glass!
Now Zark tells us that Typhon is doing something to the Phoenix Transducer Radar System. Zark has to find a way to stop it.
We cut to goons manning computers. Typhon is sending G-Force a 'present'.
On the Phoenix, Princess tells Mark that their electronic detectors are all 'going crazy'. Is that a technical term, Princess?
The scorpion begins to form a ball.
Now we cut to meteorites entering Earth's atmosphere.
Next we see the scorpion ball again. Mark says they have to follow it all the way back to Earth.
Jason thinks the Rocket Missiles ought to take it out.
"But if not..." warns Mark.
"If not, I'd say we really are in big trouble." Jason points out. With logic like that, Mark can't refuse and Jason starts shooting away.
But when they don't work, Mark urges Jason to try again. Those missiles don't work either.
"Can you tell what it's target is, Jason?" Mark asks.
"Its target is Earth!" Princess interrupts.
They can't stop it, so Jason suggests that the next best thing is to let Zark know it's on the way down.
Zark must have bugs on the Phoenix. He appears on a viewscreen.
"I've already detected the alien invader approaching, but thanks for thinking of me!" he smirks.
Zark informs the Team that the scorpion ball is targeting Earth's largest 'Energy Development Center'. Fortunately, they've been able to evacuate everyone and robot defenses are being deployed against the giant scorpion.
Zark wants G-Force to stay there and look for Typhon, instead of going back to Earth. But Jason complains that their instruments don't work.
But never fear, Zark has the solution! He tells the Team to 'reverse the polarity'. Mark instructs Princess to remove the Magnetic Tape Probe. But they just got a new replacement tape, and Princess isn't certain the poles can be reversed on this new model.
Mark pulls out the tape and reverses the polarity himself.
"I don't know why I didn't think of this myself!" Mark grins. "Count on good old 7-Zark-7!"
"Z-7... A-1!" Keyop burbles.
Okay, I'm going to be ill now.
Of course, it works, and the Phoenix is now off to Planet Spectra, where Typhon is hiding out in the ocean. Wait... so the Phoenix can just invade Spectran Space anytime they want? Wow...
They descend into the 'Spectran Ocean'. Is there only one on the whole Planet?
Tiny cuts the jets as they get close. They find Typhon's submarine.
Mark tells Tiny that he won't be swimming with them.
"You stay here and mind the store." Mark orders.
"I always get cut out. It's giving me a complex!" Tiny complains.
They hitch a ride on the small scout ship, and Keyop loses his swimming trunks in the Spectran Ocean.
Once they arrive at the base, the Team rushes into the elevator with the goons, but we don't see the dead ones after the fight.
Instead we cut to Typhon gloating. Mark enters, with the goon in front of him.
Typhon realizes it's G-Force, but we don't see any goons firing at the Team, nor do we see the Team fighting back. Mark just verbally tells Typhon that he and his scorpion are finished. But a strange red button has been surreptitiously pressed by a goon...
"Yes, but the game still goes on." Typhon replies smugly.
Mark tells Princess to 'hit the control panel' and we see a really bad cut of Princess with her yo-yo and then the panel exploding. I guess poor Jason doesn't get to do anything here.
But Typhon tells G-Force that the meteorites are still on their way. Everyone appears shocked. Didn't they already know that the meteorites were on their way? Zark evacuated people and everything!
Typhon jumps out for an important meeting with Zoltar. He takes off in the scout ship and Tiny tries to follow, but the Phoenix gets stuck in the rocks.
Trapped inside the submarine, Jason (not Mark) suggests that they open the door with Princess' yo-yo bomb. I guess this is his contribution.
Mark warns them all that when the door blows they'll be targets for a lot of flying metal. He tells them to form Whirlwind Pyramid 'on minus two'.
When Mark tells them to whirl, they all go and deflect the shrapnel. They escape and go back to the Phoenix.
But once they're back, they see that the meteorites have reversed. They report to Anderson, and he tells them that the destruction of the Scorpion turned them around. They have now been drawn back to Callisto.
Mark requests reentry clearance from Zark. They're headed home.
And now, for the first time in a very hectic day, Zark can take a ten second oil break.
Zark declares that G-Force a 'real heroes' for stopping the meteorite shower, and 1-Rover-1 barks his agreement.
Rover apparently points out that Zark is the one who told them to reverse their polarity. Zark brushes off the compliment, saying, "But they programmed me for genius like that!"
Is this episode over yet?
Fortunately, yes.