From: Accipitridae
Sent: 3.06 1/4/--
To: Cathartidae
Opened: 11.38 1/4/--
‘My Dearest Friend,
Sometimes things are not as they seem.
To make things clear in a way you understand, Jun is not hetero-challenged, a muff diver, rug muncher, kitten charmer, or drag king. Nor is she a boy, bull, femme, lipstick or any type of dyke. I am sure I don’t need to mention how convenient it would have been, given she does ride a motor bike. However, while she may not be a lesbian, we are working on her becoming a lot more experimental... But, I digress.
Isabella is an old friend. You do actually know her and have for a while – you see her every time we return from a mission. Next time keep an eye out for her. She’ll be the one directing us into the maintenance bays, assigning work crews and suggesting improvements to our vehicles. She hides that hair of hers under the hood of her jumpsuit, wears a lot less make up and behaves in a manner more fitting to her position, so I’m completely gobsmacked that you didn’t recognise her. I was under the assumption you were a trained ninja and aware of your surroundings at all times... But, anyway, when she isn’t working her day job, Bella can often be as wild as she seems and has a wicked sense of humour. With her help Jun and I were able to hit you with a practical joke like none you have ever executed on us in the more than the ten years we’ve known each other. Of course, if you weren’t as gullible as you are, then we wouldn’t have been able to pull it off so successfully. For that, we would like to say thank you very much for your co-operation in our operation.
Jun would like you to know that it doesn’t make up for the time you let a cage of rats loose in the Snack J. This is a mere down payment. The arguments with Jinpei about keeping ‘just one’ went on for weeks and she says, most emphatically I might add, that she still owes you for that. God, I love it when she uses that tone of voice – but only when it’s directed at someone else. I would suggest you protect your cojones any time she’s around.
I would like you to know that that it doesn’t make up for the time you let the same damn cage of rats loose in the GodPhoenix. I did notice you were the only one wearing a seat belt when Ryu reacted the way you knew he would. I did appreciate that you waited for us to be 10,000 feet up, but I do still owe you for the broken ribs. And the whinging from Jinpei about keeping ‘just one’.
Well, we do hope you now know what you’re dealing with. Jun and I have scores to settle and we have teamed up. Be afraid.
And just for your own education, here’s a picture for you to think upon. It isn’t the one I wanted to send – that one was way more interesting - but in a democracy the majority wins, especially when they vote ever so nicely...’
Joe sat back from the screen as the portrait formatted picture downloaded. Smiling at him was Ken bracketed by the two girls, lying on a bed he recognised as Jun’s, and all three were completely naked. The look shining in the clear blue eyes was not the innocent boy next door persona he was used to. Nor was the look of pure desire in Jun’s as she looked up at Ken’s profile, her arm lying down his torso to disappear out of the scene. Isabella was obviously holding the camera, her left arm stretched out of the shot and Ken’s hand was placed very confidently to protect her dignity. The date stamp was from over a month earlier.
After a few minutes staring in disbelief at the screen, Joe realised there was more to scroll up. Dreading what he would see he hit the page down button.
‘Bella would like you to know a few things.
1. If she keeps finding pieces of Galactor goon in the Condor Machine’s engine, she will insist that you clean it out instead of tackling the job herself to save her staff the extra trauma. She says it’s not fair that they have to deal with you and body parts at the same time. I don’t want to deprive you of the enjoyment of running down the fleeing scumbags, so I would suggest you let her attach the cover she keeps suggesting. It will not affect performance, even if it does make the engine sound quieter. Bella has the data to prove it. I will do you the favour of not repeating what she said was your reason for not wanting the cover. But it has to do with all roar, no – well, you get the idea.
Bella has suggested a compromise. She will happily fit out your car with pinstripe detailing in any colour of your choice. Given your thoughts on what makes it go fast, the stripes will obviously compensate for the speed lost by installing the cover. There is no actual scientific data to back it up, but you seriously won’t notice any change in its power. It will be the same Condor Machine, only quieter with really cool stripes. I suggest you go for red ones, because we all know that red makes any car go faster.
Anyway, use the cover or clean out the engine prior to leaving it with the maintenance crew. Your choice. But you only have those two to choose from. If you think you have more, read on.
2. From now on, when you come back to Crescent Coral in your usual foul mood, Bella would appreciate it if you didn’t take it out on her staff. She keeps having to find good mechanics to replace the ones you scare into insensibility. She suggested I take away your shuriken before you leave the GodPhoenix. I suggested Hell would freeze over first, so we agreed on asking you nicely. This time.
Bella’s also very definite about giving you a warning. And this it. The only one you’re getting. I suggest you behave. Read 3 and 5, especially parts of 5, before you think about arguing. Oh, and 4. Definitely read the main part of 4. Then come back and re-read the first sentence of 2. If after all that, you still insist on being the stubborn rat bastard that you are, then I would suggest printing this out and taping it to the window of the Condor Machine. In large print. And highlighted. If that doesn’t work, well, then you’re just asking for the consequences.
And, no. They won’t be deducted from what Jun and I still owe you.
3. If you drive past the yellow safety line one more time just to annoy her staff, Bella will deflate your tires – with a bullet - while you’re still moving. And then make you change them yourself. Before you say ‘her and what army’, I would like to remind you she has staff. Lots of them. And you have managed to piss off every single one of them multiple times. They are more than willing to take the casualties. They may be our maintenance crew, but they double as part of Crescent Coral’s security force. They are well-armed and highly trained. Death bringing you down would be honourable and considered more than worth the losses expected. Yes, they have done the calculations. And have conducted computer simulations. And trained for that scenario. Many, many, many times. And they are damn good. Their technical consultants have a great deal of faith in their abilities, especially as they have also been promised back up from nearly every area of the base. I’m sure Nambu would very proud of the team spirit you have inspired in our people.
On a side note, Jun and I thought it was very nice that a bunch of such well trained and seasoned soldiers were so willing to take combat advice from a couple of teenagers. They really listened. And took detailed notes. You should see the diagrams – so specific and anatomically correct. I do believe that they had help from the medical team to get them perfect in every way.
4. When Bella and the others are harmonising while working, it would be in your best interests not to sneer and make remarks about poncy music. If you do, not only will she will delete the entire collection of Celine Dion’s love ballads you have on the Condor Machine’s MP3, she will download the video recording she has of you singing ‘My Heart Will Go On’ into the ISO’s computer system as a virus. Within minutes every ISO computer world wide will warble loudly with your baritone trying desperately hard to become a soprano and show pictures of you wiggling your butt in birdstyle, so I would suggest, strongly, that you keep your comments to yourself. You thought they were good last night so shut up and enjoy the free concert from semi-professionals, some of whom have classical training. Surprised? Did you seriously believe that the all important ISO takes the lowest dregs of recruitment? What the Hell would that make us?
I would also suggest that you remember the security cameras installed throughout the base. The public areas are recorded at all times, you dumb fuck. There ARE signs everywhere...
On a personal note - the girls do not know of this section, and nor will they ever hear it from either one of us – I’m asking you as a friend to quit making Bella feel self-conscious about singing in public. She certainly has talent, one that is now hidden unless she is singing with a group or drunk enough not to care. All because of one single typically Condor smartarse remark that hit too close to home and an upbringing you wouldn’t believe. I know you didn’t know. But you can be a right bastard sometimes. Do you know that? You were more than compassionate about her stage fright last night, but that’s when you thought you were in with a chance so you gave a damn. Why can’t you give a damn all the time? You talked a good line about Jun’s sexuality though, and you were genuine. It’s a shame you don’t show this side of you to people you don’t personally care about. Not only would it save the ISO shitloads in insurance claims, it would also get Nambu off your back. For my part, I still have hope that you will grow out of your life long ‘arsehole to the little people’ phase. Eventually.
Either way, here’s the deal. Bella made me promise not to deal with you myself, but she didn’t think to make me promise not to tell the Swan. The same Swan who has been devastated by Bella’s constant refusal to sing for her – am I making myself clear?
Anyway, on to the final thing on Bella’s list...
5. If you slap her butt and suggest she take the Condor for a spin one more time, she will. Right off the edge of an elbow, knee, foot, convenient work table... I guess I should mention that I met Bella during one of those ‘boring’ lectures I had to sit through. Advanced Combat Training 401. You know - the course they use to choose our security force? The same one Navy SEALS go through before being deployed? I can tell you from personal experience – Bella is single minded and ruthless. Unless she’s got a personal interest vested in it, no nutsack is safe. She takes great delight in cracking them and has become quite the specialist at it. And before you say ‘her and what army’, re-read number 3, just add ‘in the defence of their commanding officer’ between ‘Death bringing you down’ and ‘would be honourable’.
Seriously, hit ‘Print’ now. It’s for your own good. As much as we would hate to see you hurt and humiliated, Jun and I won’t step in. As we’ve said, ignore this and pay the price for your own actions. This is tough love.
One last thing from Jun. She would like to point out that I blush a lot. I would like to point out that no, I don’t. It’s a biological thing. I think about sex and blood rushes via my face on its way to where it will do the most good. I just have a lot of blood to move. And I think about sex a lot. It does help to maintain the innocent facade when Nambu questions me about the various rumours that run rife every now and again. Not to mention helping make you the team’s known and feared man whore - compared to your talk and reputation I look so sweet and pure and that makes trawling a lot easier. Surprisingly, ‘adorable’ does work. Really, really well.
So, dear friend, and I do genuinely mean that, I would like to end this with a last minute question. Were you sincere in your description (and willingness to partake) of a ménage á trois between two straight guys and a girl? I think Bella’s kind of fed up with fighting Aaron for my attention when we get together. As much as she loves him dearly, I think it would be nice to consider her for a change. And someone told me that a considered girl is a very grateful thing. She’s also very flexible, open-minded, generous and inventive. And bloody flexible, have I mentioned that? As a bonus, maybe getting to know her might make complying with her demands a lot easier for you. You know, when Bella becomes someone that ‘matters’?
Ken
P.S. There is no such thing as a double-ended pile-driver. Even using my prodigious experience and imagination I have worked out that the only way to accomplish such a thing would put one of us in serious danger of being left with two veg and no meat. If you doubt me, search it. The internet is good for stuff other than e-mail and filing mission reports, you know. Which reminds me - I have been told that if yours are not done and in by 1200 sharp today, your internet access will be cut and you will be required to write them out by hand. On a small desk in Nambu’s office where he can personally keep an eye on you to make sure they are done correctly. And no, this is no April Fool’s joke. Gee, I hope you checked your e-mail when you got home.’
With several muttered comments about Ken’s parentage - among other things - Joe hit print.
Waiting for the paper to spew out of the little printer he checked the time on the computer screen.
11.58.
Training was at 1pm, so he still had an hour to kill – and he was ready to kill.
The printer had finished, so Joe closed the laptop and unplugged the connecting cord. Taking the sheaf of paper out of the tray, he flipped through them until he found the one he wanted.
The photo.
He stared at it for a while before turning around and placing it against the wall. Pulling out a shuriken he jabbed it through Ken’s forehead into the panelling behind. Snarling slightly, Joe let his finger tap the face of the white haired girl.
Suddenly needing to move, he slid out of the booth seat. Standing, he jammed the computer into its hard case and picked both it and the printer up to be put away in the cupboard out of sight. Slamming the door behind them, he debated what to do. In an hour he would be face to face with Ken and Jun: did he let them know he had seen the e-mail, or did he let them stew? Better to go with the third option and that was to not go to training at all. Except he really could do with some physical activity and he couldn’t hang around here.
Quickly changing into sweats, Joe locked the door of the trailer behind him and began to run.
~~
The passenger side door opened and a bag was tossed over the seat into the back, barely missing the driver’s head.
“They just left,” Isabella said as she slid into the seat. “Your timing is impeccable.”
Barely allowing her to get the door shut, Joe peeled away from the curb without a word of greeting. She took the hint and silently put on her seat belt. She spared a glance at his face - it was grim, a muscle working erratically along his jaw line betrayed the clenching of his teeth. His hair was damp, obviously he was just out of the shower and her sense of smell confirmed it. A mixture of soap and deodorant lingered in the car.
Joe drove fast, weaving in and out of traffic. Thankfully, it was light at this time of day. Isabella realised that he was taking her back to his trailer as she had thought he would and she mentally prepared herself. Joe could be very unpredictable when he was in this mood and she needed to be ready for that. She stared out the window, watching ‘normal’ people go about their everyday lives. For a brief moment, she regretted that she wasn’t one of them.
The journey was quick, too quick for Isabella. Stopping with a controlled skid, Joe threw open his door and got out. He turned and grabbed the bag from the back seat, the strap brushing Isabella’s hair as he pulled it over the front seat. She reluctantly undid the seat belt and opened her door. Climbing out, she looked around. He normally left his trailer in the race track’s parking lot, but it was being resurfaced before the racing season began so Joe was currently staying in a trailer park on the south side of the city. It wasn’t tourist season either so the only occupants were the year round residents and Joe was berthed a distance away from the permanent structures. Guessing that it was going to get noisy, Isabella thanked several saints that it would, for the most part, be private.
“Are you coming in, or what?” Joe growled the question at her from the trailer’s open door. She nodded and walked around the car to follow him inside.
From the doorway she watched him drop her bag by the bed. Essentially his trailer was one big room, kitchen at one end and bedroom at the other. Between them was the dining area made up of booth seating with a table between the seats, right by the door. On the opposite side, cutting into the kitchen, was the combined bathroom/toilet and a cupboard. Isabella marvelled at how well designed the interior was, it was a lot roomier inside than the outside would give credit for.
Joe turned and, for the first time that day, he looked at her. Hard. Isabella returned his look, she had known him for so long that his glares weren’t scary - she had known their baby brothers after all. He raised his eyebrow and she mimicked it. Joe took a deep breath and released it slowly, again she followed suit.
“Shut the door.”
“Not until I know I won’t need to run out of it.”
He intensified his glare. She smiled.
“Joey, you know that won’t work on me,” Isabella said, waiting for him to do something, anything.
For several heartbeats he just looked at her until she felt the first gnawings of concern start in her stomach. Isabella fought the urge to drop her eyes, she had done nothing wrong and he knew it. She was relying on his imperfect ability to see past his own emotions to the truth of the situation and one false move on her behalf could prove to be dangerous.
“You betrayed me.”
“How?”
Her simple question confused him. Joe knew the score, he understood the situation, and he could never make it clearer than he already had about his feelings for her. They weren’t a couple, they had tried it early in their friendship and had failed miserably - they just didn’t mesh that way.
“You set me up.”
“Of course I did. But if that’s how I betrayed you, then I’ve been betraying you since the minute we met.”
Suddenly he threw back his head and laughed. Isabella chuckled and closed the door, knowing she wasn’t leaving.
“This conversation isn’t over,” Joe said, crossing the space between them.
“I know,” she said as Joe yanked her towards him by her elbow. She wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to pick her up, curling her legs around his waist. Turning, he placed her on top of the seat and wiggled his hands under her shirt. Sliding them up her back he frowned.
“Problem?” Isabella asked, smirking.
“Um, no.” Joe pulled away slightly and ran his hands around her rib cage. A chuckle escaped him as Isabella lifted her arms in invitation. Removing her shirt revealed that she had nothing on underneath. “Sarie, my love. You are full of surprises today.”
“I did think about putting on that black corset you like, but I didn’t think you would be in the mood to spend half an hour getting it undone.” Isabella tightened her grip around his neck as he began to tease her breast with his tongue.
“I am in no mood to be patient today,” Joe agreed, mumbling against her nipple. The sound of Isabella’s shoes hitting the ground behind him made Joe glance up at her face.
“Neither am I.”
~~
Isabella arched, her legs gripping his waist to give her leverage. She was lying on the table, still grasping the sides from when Joe tugged off her jeans, his haste almost causing her to follow. He pulled her hips towards him, his engorged penis rubbing teasingly against her. He guided himself down to the entrance of her inner core and was just pushing in...
Beep.
“G-2, where are you? This is late - even for you.” Ken’s voice.
Joe swore - he knew he had forgotten something. Isabella laughed at him, this wasn’t the first time he had been contacted while they were having sex, but she knew that this time they weren’t going to have to finish quickly.
She tried to sit up with a mischievous look on her face. Remembering the time she had taken him into her mouth while he was accepting orders from Dr Nambu, Joe held Isabella down with his left hand, shushing her before activating the communicator function of his bracelet. “I’m not feeling so well today, Ken. I think Jun cooked some of that yakitori I ate last night. I’m skipping training. Might see you tomorrow.”
“Oh. Well, Jun and I hope you feel better soon.”
He signed out before Isabella could give him away; he had twisted his body to keep his member away from her questing hands, but now she was bringing her foot into play. He grabbed the foot with his right hand, moving his left hand from her ribs down to her hip as he run his tongue down her calf.
“Jun’s going to kill you for that! You know she can actually cook some stuff, right?” Isabella squirmed as he hit the ticklish spot behind her knee. Joe chuckled as placed the leg back around his waist.
“Yeah? Like what?” Wasting no time Joe pushed into her slowly, causing her to bite her lip.
“Cereal?”
“You cook cereal, do you?” Joe increased his tempo and was rewarded by a moan.
“Um, toast?”
“Is that the best you can come up with?” Joe thrust deep and Isabella arched her back.
“Joe? Shut up,” Isabella sighed, levering herself up. Twisting her fingers through his hair, she pulled his face to hers. “You know, I’m fairly certain that it’s customary to kiss a girl before you stick your dick in her.”
~~
“So, are you going to tell me straight out, or do I have to ask questions?” Joe grabbed her right hand to look at the nails. “Is that blood under these daggers?”
“They aren’t daggers! I happen to know lots of girls with nails longer than mine.” Isabella twisted her hand out of his grip. “Don’t even think about biting them.”
“Those girls aren’t dragging their nails down my back!”
“Wimp. They’re only on one hand – you’re just lucky I wouldn’t be able to chord if I had the same on my left.”
“How can you work with those things? Surely they don’t make it easy?”
“They aren’t that long! Besides, they come in handy - I can always use them as screwdrivers,” she demonstrated on his sternum.
“Great, so you’re telling me that G-2 is held together by screws tightened by your fingernails!” Joe trapped her hand again. “This is blood, I would swear it.”
“Maybe a little...”
“Do you leave marks on Ken, too?”
Isabella snatched her hand away. “Don’t ask the questions you know I won’t answer, Joe. It’s just a waste of time.” She settled her head more comfortably on his shoulder. “What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Ken and Jun got you good.”
“That they did. With your help.” Joe took a deep breath. “I didn’t know you knew Ken.”
“Of course I know Ken. Good Lord, Joe, how long have I worked on G-2 now?”
“Since we’ve needed maintenance crews. In the e-mail he told me it was longer.”
“It has been. My point is that you know people from the other crews, why wouldn’t I know the pilot of G-1?”
“And who’s the one wasting time now?”
“Just pointing out the bleeding obvious,” Isabella said, grinning up at him.
“I see, so it’s going to be like that, is it? Fine.” Joe mock snarled at her. “You’ve known Ken for at least three, three and half years by my reckoning.”
“Four to be exact. How did you work that out?”
“Because that’s when he suddenly got better than me. Went away for some camp, came back and wiped the floor with me in training. In the e-mail Ken wrote that he met you at some Advanced Combat course and since you suddenly got damn good about that time too, I assumed it had to be more than just a coincidence.”
“Did you assume it then or when you read the e-mail?”
“It didn’t occur to me until just now. I was quite distracted by what else you learned on that course if I remember correctly.” Joe bit his lip. “Did Ken, um, teach those moves?”
“Only the one I used to throw you over my shoulder.” Isabella looked up at his face. “What came after that was purely my own.”
“Not that I minded where you put your hand after that, but did you have to do it with such force?”
“Had to see if it worked. Wasn’t sure you were up to the challenge.” Isabella smirked.
“So, who was first, me or him?”
“Oh, GOD! I knew you were going to ask that!” Isabella smacked his chest. “And I’m not going to answer it!”
“Girl, you will answer it!”
“No. Goddammit, Joe – stick to your questions because we’re running out of time.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s only April Fool’s Day until midnight, you idiot. Do you want to get Ken back, or not?”
“Yes and I was first.” Joe smirked. “We slept together before you went on that course.”
“So glad your pride got pumped, not that I would call what we did sex. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. What do you mean you wouldn’t call it sex?”
“We were drunk! And you fell asleep! You need to address his e-mail.”
“Answer his e-mail? That won’t be enough for last night. And I didn’t fall asleep!”
“You were snoring! And you weren’t moving - I had to push you off me. Ken doesn’t know you know me.”
“Use that against him? Could work and it would certainly wipe the smug smile off his face. And that wasn’t snoring, it was moans of passion.”
“You weren’t moaning because you don’t moan. You’re a grunter. Ken let me read the e-mail he sent you so you will let me read anything before you send it.”
“And what’s your punishment for getting involved in their little game? You playing tricks on me is one thing, but to team up with Ken and Jun is another. You moan, by the way.”
“I know I do. I know your ego would prefer screams, but I just don’t do them – it’s not lady like. And my punishment is having to explain to you.”
“Some punishment! You’re free to sleep with anyone you choose, you know that. And what’s this bullshit about screaming not being ladylike – nothing about you is ladylike!”
“A girl has to have some standards, even if I deign to warm your bed on occasion.” Isabella laughed as Joe growled at her. “You have to do something, you can’t let this go.”
“You’re being very determined about this, Sarie.”
“As I said, you’re running out of time. Getting Ken back tomorrow won’t be the same as getting him back today.” Isabella yawned.
“Tired?”
“Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” She chuckled.
“And it would have nothing to do with the amount of alcohol you drank?”
“It might do.” Isabella snuggled deeper under his arm.
“After you sang that song last night, you said it was a promise kept. Who was the promise to?”
“Does it matter?”
“I know how much it took for you to sing in front of an audience, even if there were only three people there, Sarie. I’m just trying to work out why you would put yourself through it.”
“Aaron’s been on at me for months to try it in front of a couple of friends. He told Ken that maybe if it was him and Jun then I wouldn’t get so nervous. Ken told Jun.”
“And Jun bailed you up.” Joe smiled in sympathy.
“She’s been asking me for months to sing something for her,” Isabella admitted. “But then she got it into her head that last night after the show would be ideal. I would already be fairly tanked, we would have the instruments there...”
Joe chuckled. “I bet she used those eyes on you, didn’t she? Damn hard to say no when she lets them loose.”
“Near on impossible. Normally I would have been smart enough to look somewhere else, but she got me after a gig we did a couple of weeks ago. Right off the stage.”
“While you were still flying.” Joe felt her answering nod on his chest. “Ken was the one that told her you could sing?”
“Yep.”
“So that’s why you’re so determined to see me get my own back on him. Payment for unleashing Jun on you.”
“It could be that. Or it could be that you won’t be happy until you do and an unhappy Condor upsets my people.”
“Did Ken and Jun really train your staff to take me down?”
“Uh huh. Had a lot of fun doing it too, by all accounts. I know my team thought it was a great lark. They now pride themselves on being the best trained squad in the ISO.” Isabella looked up at him. “After all, everybody else is only trained to take down Galactor.”
Joe laughed. “Sarie! You’re usually so careful to deflate my ego, not stroke it!”
“Consider it a thank you for not going off your nut about me helping Ken and Jun set you up. I fully expected yelling.” Isabella moved until she was draped across his chest, looking into his eyes.
“I fully expected it too. Just as well we don’t say mad at each other long.” Joe stroked her hair.
“Grudges are a different matter though, right?” She grinned impishly.
“You know it.” Joe watched as she buried another yawn into his chest. “Why don’t you take a nap while I’ll start on my reply to Ken?”
“Good idea.” She rolled off of him while he lifted his arm out of her way. “Don’t forget to let me read it before you hit send.”
“Afraid I’ll send some photos back?” He sat up.
“I know you will - if I let you. What is it with you people about taking snap shots of having sex?” Isabella mumbled as she curled up on her side.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because we see so much death that we like to have things around that remind us life isn’t all bad.” Joe leant over and, brushing her hair out of the way, kissed her ear. “It’s why I keep you around.”
“You keep me around because it’s bloody good sex and you’d be hard pushed to find better.”
“And I don’t trust just anyone with my car. Your uncle taught you well.”
Isabella’s eyes flew open. “That reminds me - ”
“I know, the anniversary is next week. I’ll be at mass if I can make it, I promise.”
“Thank you.” She closed her eyes again. Joe watched as she slipped into sleep before carefully climbing off the bed.
~~
Sitting down, Joe shuffled through the five pages of the e-mail. ‘Well, this is an interesting turn of events,’ he thought as he re-read the paragraphs of interest. ‘I had no idea Ken could be this devious. And Sarie has a lot more to answer for than what we’re already dealt with...’
Joe reached over and unplugged the wireless jack from the side of the laptop. Getting up, he walked into the trailer’s kitchen. With one hand he opened a drawer, dropped in the now useless modem and pulled out another. Returning to his seat at the table, he plugged in the device and waited a couple of seconds for the auto run to kick in. He smirked and opening a new window he began to type.
~~
“You can’t write that!” Isabella jabbed at the screen with her toothbrush as she leant over Joe’s shoulder.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s just downright rude. Ken can’t help his phobia!”
“Yeah, well, he can help his crappy attitude after a mission. Some of that e-mail he sent me wasn’t very nice, Sarie. I’m only responding with my point of view.”
~~
“You didn’t know I had been promoted?”
“You didn’t say anything! How the hell was I supposed to know if no one told me?”
“You didn’t ask because you thought I might be bitter?” Isabella eyes widened at the passage she was reading.
“Yeah, well...” Joe was surprised as she pulled his head back by the hair and kissed him.
“I thought you didn’t ask because you didn’t care.”
~~
“Ken told you not to clean out the engine???”
~~
“Oh, Mr White Shadow... Design team... Dare you!” Isabella couldn’t speak, tears rolling down her face.
~~
“Oh, that’s the best one there.”
“But you aren’t very clear – you can’t even see your hair.”
“But you haven’t written anything about sleeping with me yet, Joe. You’re just making the point that anything is possible with imagination, determination and the right, um, tools.”
“Sarie, you are cunning.” Joe copied the photo.
~~
“Why do we keep ending up on the table?”
“Because it’s convenient.”
“So is the floor, Joe.”
“It’s also hard on my knees.”
“The bed is only a couple of metres away.”
“I can’t wait that long.”
“So it has nothing to do with you wanting to be in control?”
~~
“So only Aaron and I know your name really isn’t Isabella?”
“Pretty much. Aaron used Izzy because it drove my dad wild to hear it shortened.” Isabella deepened her voice. “’Son, her name is Isabella, after my mother. You will respect the memory of a good woman and call my daughter by her proper name.’”
“Rosaria?” Joe chuckled.
“Yeah, and that would be about the time that dad threw him out.” Isabella laughed into his neck. “Just as well dad’s never met you.”
~~
“I’m just saying that while Celine Dion has a great voice I don’t do her songs. They’re not exactly my style...”
~~
“What am I?” Mumbled.
Joe arched backwards in the seat. “OH MY GOD. I only said sometimes, Sarie! Let me go!”
“What am I, Joe?” Barely heard.
Joe spat between gritted teeth. “A ball breaker!”
“You know it, honey. Call me cantankerous again and I’ll use teeth.” Isabella released his testicles gently.
“That was just your mouth??”
“Yep, got some decent muscles in there, haven’t I?” sabella looked up at him and smiled.
Joe’s fingers tightened in her hair. “Prove it.”
~~
“Does he really say he rescued a cat?” Isabella looked at the nails on her right hand.
“And I’m expected to believe it.”
~~
“Leave it, Joe.” Isabella’s eyes narrowed as she read what Joe was writing.
“You know I want to know the truth about that performance.”
“Leave it.”
~~
“He does do innocent well, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah, well, he won’t be able to fool me again.”
~~
“Joe! I’m in that photo – are you trying to get me transferred??”
“Oh.” Joe thought for a moment before typing again.
“For fuck’s sake! Jinpei’s just a kid!”
“I don’t actually plan on doing it.” Joe rolled his eyes at her while he typed some more. Isabella’s eyes wandered to a point behind his head.
“Why are you using shuriken to hold up photos?”
“I don’t have any pins.”
“What about blu-tack? Don’t you have any of that?” Isabella knelt on the seat to reach the feather.
“What the hell is blue tack? And obviously I don’t. Sarie! Use the feathered end, dammit!”
“Spoil sport. How are you going to end it?” Isabella sat back down, the photo in one hand and the shuriken in another.
“Got that already. I wrote it while you were in the shower.”
Isabella read what he had written, sniggering at the ending. She frowned. “You haven’t mentioned anything about his offer, Joey.”
“That’s because I plan on ignoring it, Sarie.”
“But it would make me happy.” She tickled his ear with the feather.
“I don’t like to share.” Joe brushed at the shuriken.
“But you made the offer first!”
“When I thought there was no way in hell Ken would agree to it!”
She sighed before grinning. “Fine, then use it as a threat.”
“Some threat!” Joe looked at her in disbelief.
Isabella thought about it for a moment. “How about if you give Ken a time limit to get here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s almost 1620. Would they still be training?”
“Yes, it’ll finish at 5 or thereabouts.”
“How long before he would be able to check his e-mail?”
“By the time we get checked out for injuries and shower, it’s usually about 5.30 before we leave. Assuming Ken has left his laptop at home, it would still only take him ten minutes to get there.”
“Give him a couple of minutes to sign on, then another five to read it – assuming, of course, it’s the first thing he does.” Isabella stretched in her seat next to Joe. “It would take him, what, another fifteen minutes to get here...”
“Making it just after 6.”
“There’s your deadline. Tell him to be here at 1800, no later, and you’ll take him up on his offer.”
“What if he does make it?”
“Then I have the both of you to myself for the evening. I would really enjoy that, you know.” Isabella ran the feather down his chest. “He might just make it. If anyone was going to work it out, Ken would.”
“He’s not that good.”
“Joey.” Isabella chided softly, before biting her lip in thought. She smiled. “You know, I think I would quite happily bet fifty bucks that Ken could make it in time.”
“Sarie, I am telling you I couldn’t make it in the time limit. It’ll be rush hour and he’d have to cut across it twice.” Joe looked at her as she knelt up in her seat. “It’s a bad bet - you’d lose your money.”
“So if he didn’t make it, not only would you be able to imagine his face on top of everything else you’ve dropped in his lap, you would also be fifty dollars richer.” Isabella looked at him intently to gauge his reaction to the idea. Deciding he needed more incentive, she continued, “I bet he only added that because he knew that you wouldn’t agree to it. You’re too well known as not being the sharing type.”
“I share you.” Joe glared at her.
“Oh, come on. Don’t take that tack with me – you’re no more able to stand me after a while than I can stand you! ’Sides, you can’t tell me I don’t share you with any girl willing.”
“True.” Joe laughed.
“So, are you going to take me up on the bet, or what?”
“You really think he’ll make it?”
“I know he will – just to prove you wrong!”
“Then you’re on!” Joe shook the hand she thrust out at him. “There is no way Ken will make it here in time.”
“Finish your e-mail and we’ll soon see, won’t we?”
“Where are you going?” Joe asked as Isabella stepped backwards off the seat.
“I’m supposed to go out tonight with Aaron and the band to that new club over on Seventh. I’m going to send him a message to say I won’t make it.” She rummaged through her bag before looking at him. “Assuming, of course, you want my company tonight?”
“Send the message.”
~~
From: Cathartidae2
Sent: 16.32 1/4/--
To: Accipitridae
Opened: 17.29 1/4/--
RE: Your very interesting e-mail
My soon to be dearly departed friend,
I suppose you think you’re clever. You don’t want to know what I think you are, but I know you can guess.
I will agree that you are right - about one thing. Things aren’t always what they seem.
I know Jun isn’t a lesbian. How? Well, for now I’ll leave that up to your prodigious experience and imagination. I did suggest she try it though. It would have been so much fun, what with her bike and all. But she turned the idea down. Brutally. I can still feel the indent of her yo-yo and my nuts climb into my stomach whenever she’s around. She has yet to coax them out - not through the lack pleading on my behalf, I would have you note. I would like to say congrats, by the way. It’s about time you saw what was in front of you.
And I’m not worried about you two teaming up. It’s about time I had a challenge worthy of my talents. With Jun’s brain bringing you up to a grand total of one between you, not to mention her definite streak of cunning, you might have a slim chance of catching me out. Game on, friend, game on!
So, while this is payback for the rats, it doesn’t cover the debt? Glad to hear it. I would be insulted if you thought this was enough for the planning involved in those stunts. Do you have any idea of what’s involved in getting rodents past the quarantine block on Crescent Coral? And you think Jinpei whinging about keeping just one was bad – I had to deal with him wanting the whole lot! I thought about it, just so I could see Jun’s face, but Rosaria was definite about getting all eight back. Yes, Ken, eight. Only eight, not the twenty you told Hakase. He had me search the GodPhoenix for 6 hours because you can’t count when you’re too busy trying not to wet yourself. The great Gatchaman! If only Galactor knew that rodents were your weakness...
As for Ryu reacting the only way I knew he would – well, you should know that Ryu will react any way you want him to – if the bribe is high enough. We’ll get back to that later... but I will say that Ryu likes rats that come on command even more than Jinpei likes ones that he thinks are wild. His pleas for ‘just one’ continue to this day. He did try blackmail, but I have my own methods of dealing with that as you know.
And I thought I apologised for the broken ribs. Maybe you didn’t hear me over your chattering teeth and incessant mumbling about ‘their eyes, their eyes!’ Not sure what you meant by that, but yours were rolling back into your head at the time so I ignored it in favour of holding smelling salts under your nose.
Seriously, Ken. You willingly fling yourself off the hull of a plane moving at 900 kph and at a height of 1000m to land on a mecha full of goons bent on killing you, and yet you get faint when a rat runs over your foot...
Even though I should speak to Isabella about her, um, demands, I think I will clarify some things for you first. I know how you do like to be in the loop...
I did recognise Isabella. I thought that you didn’t and since she was so intent on making your acquaintance I played along. She usually has a reason for what she does and I didn’t want to spoil it for her. Of course, I was rather curious to see what she was up to...
I admit I didn’t know she had been promoted. I shall have to congratulate her the next time I have the chance. She’s not one for throwing things like that around and she certainly knows how to keep her mouth shut at the best of times – and at the worst.
I would like to make a correction though. Isabella doesn’t have a wicked sense of humour. It definitely resides in the realm of the perverse and nefarious with frequent vacations in just plain evil.
And before you jump up and down about me not knowing who is in charge of our maintenance crew, I would like to point out that I didn’t know since a certain someone didn’t tell me. Isabella still works on G-2 so I assumed she was passed over for someone with more experience and I didn’t want to ask in case she was bitter about it. Oh, did that sound like I care? Oops.
Okay, so she finds body parts in my machine... and the cover would fix that... I agree. It’s not me that says no to it. Speak to the design team, they are the ones that are refusing it on the grounds it hasn’t been fully tested to their satisfaction. They also said no to the red pin striping for the same reason. Yes, Ken, the design team – the people you protected from me last week! They are a bunch of self-serving, arrogant, moronic individuals that won’t agree to anything they didn’t come up with themselves. I happened to be there trying to discuss the idea of the cover, but did you let me explain?
I still owe you for that head butt, you know. The headache lasted for days and I couldn’t directly look at a light for a while either. We need to get Medical to agree to issue us with at least some simple paracetamol – any kind of medication having unknown effects on our highly trained bodies be damned! Let’s try it and see what the effects are, shall we?
As for the cleaning out of the engine before leaving it with the mechanics... I used to, but I got in trouble with the aviation geeks for leaving body parts in the nose cone – not to mention the issue of when said nose cone opens before winching the G-2 out. It’s rather a graphic idea so I will just say ‘splat’ and God help anyone walking under when it happens...
Seriously, I can’t please everyone, Ken. Besides, if I remember correctly, and you know I do, it was you that told me to leave it for maintenance to deal with... Hmmm... I wonder if Isabella knows about that...
As for my ‘usual foul mood’ when I return from missions, you know what would help out with that? A simple ‘atta boy’ from you on occasion. Not much, just simple recognition for when I save your bacon – again. In case you haven’t realised, there are five of us on the team. You think it puts me in a good mood when you yell at Jinpei for clowning around? Or at Ryu when he asks for instructions? If he doesn’t, you go off; if he does, you ask if he’s got a brain in his head... Seriously, Mr. White Shadow That Slips Up Unseen, get the stick out your arse. All missions are difficult, but when they’re over, they’re OVER – be thankful we made it out alive and quit complaining about Katse escaping. That’s what debriefings are for.
And it’s not my fault if the bird missiles don’t work – but you try explaining that to the design team. Go on, I dare you.
Now if you’ll excuse me for a moment I will discuss the last three issues with Isabella. Back soon – not that you’ll notice, but just to give the illusion here’s some education for you....
Yep. A double-ended pile-driver is possible – if you bring in a man who is strong enough and with a good sense of leverage. Hope this picture settles that one. Oh, and this is the way to bribe Ryu, by the way... And blackmail him... Shame you can’t see the girl too well. She’s a wild one alright.
Okay, after some rather pleasant discussion, Rosaria and I are on the same page. That’s Bella to you. Her real name is Rosaria after her maternal grandmother, hence Aaron calls her ‘Wild Rose’ and his preference for her to sing songs about the flower. Her rendition of ‘The Rose’ is just amazing, by the way. You can tell Jun that she has agreed to sing it for her, but it’s got to be without an audience or with a bottle of vodka on IV. Anyway, Isabella is her middle name after her paternal grandmother. After her mother died, her incredibly insensitive and overbearing father decided to start using Isabella. He never did like his mother-in-law. Something to do with her insightful hatred of him, I think...
I’ve apologised for my comment that caused her some grief. It turns out we had a misunderstanding... Sarie thought I was being a sarcastic bastard when I compared her to Celine Dion. She didn’t think I would ever seriously give her a compliment like that, although we are now in a discussion about whether it was a compliment... She has apologised for making the mistake of thinking I was being a sarcastic bastard. That time, anyway. I’ll think about apologising for the other times I have been a bastard, sarcastic or not, when I’m done setting you straight. Something tells me that would be a bloody long apology and I might not feel up to making the effort.
By the way, you are truly off the mark about it being the comment from me that stops Sarie singing in public. I guess you don’t know she’s always suffered from terrible stage fright, huh? Why do you think Jun plied her with scotch before and while she was on stage? Aaron sets that up as part of the deal with the management of wherever they have a gig. She would prefer just playing with the band in a garage somewhere but it wouldn’t be fair on the others – they like performing even if she doesn’t. I will agree with you that her father has a lot to answer for. When we walk into a base and I knock a General on his arse for seemingly no reason, just assume you’re meeting her dad. I might even let you ‘trip’ over him a couple of times if you promise to cover my arse with Hakase.
By now you would have worked out I know her quite well. Longer than you, in fact. Did you know Sarie is a mechanic, not an aviation engineer? Do you remember Diamo, my old pit boss when I first got involved with racing? He’s her uncle on her mother’s side. He used let her hang around the pit to give her a break from her old man and/or military school. Turns out we had some things in common, cars were just the beginning. When it was time to set up our maintenance crews I asked for Sarie, preferably as group leader. I knew she could handle the pressure, being pit trained, and I don’t trust just anyone with the Condor Machine, you know. So far I have no reason to regret backing her for the position, even if she is an annoying, cantankerous pain in the arse sometimes. I did say sometimes, dammit, now quit that! Sorry, didn’t mean to write that but now I have, well, can’t be bothered backspacing... You certainly spoke the truth about specialising in nut cracking, she’s a right – fine, I won’t finish that sentence, dammit, woman – that’s more than uncomfortable! Right, you are in for it now, girl! BRB...
Okay, I have agreed to abide by the yellow line while Sarie keeps up her end of the bargain. That means no itching powder in my underwear or hydrogen sulphide gas in G-2. That rotten egg smell just lingers for days... She has also agreed I can borrow Snowy and her 7 furry friends again at some stage in the future, as long as I keep up my end of the bargain. To that end, don’t be surprised to see snipers at the ready when we next drop in... She seems to be rather intent on not allowing me to have any fun. This I blame on you and your rules influencing her unduly... I am so not going to apologise to Johnson! He shouldn’t have been in the rectangle, should he? I mean there’s sirens and flashing lights when we disembark, you think he would realise that I’m about to pull up. If the guy can’t handle G-2 nearly running him over then he shouldn’t be on the team, should he? Send him to work on Jun’s bike... I don’t care that he’s the best brake man in the business! I only looked at him; you can’t blame me for him wetting himself because I just LOOKED at him! Now, if I had done what I was thinking at the time, then I would understand it. But you, sorry, Sarie, gets so uptight when I threaten her staff. Seriously some people need to get a life. I meant the staff, Sarie, not you... sheesh. This would be easier if I didn’t have someone reading over my shoulder, you know.
I do slap her butt. You’ve seen it, don’t you just want to? Now imagine it sticking out of G-2... You see my dilemma here? I don’t think I can possibly abide by that one. If it so happens that she gets a little pissed off, then well... I have to say I like her a little pissed off if you get my meaning... Aaron doesn’t call her ‘Wild’ for just any reason... OUCH!
Okay, Sarie is getting a little concerned about what I’ve written so far. She thinks that by now you’ll be getting the feeling that she’s set you up. That isn’t true. I actually had no idea about your relationship with her – I don’t pry into her business, she doesn’t pry into mine. We tried the couple thing a few years ago, it didn’t work out for various reasons that I won’t go into while I have a little voice in my ear that’s getting exceptionally LOUD... I would say something about it just being pity sex but that would bring up the subject of who is the pitied party and I’m not sure I’d like the answer I would have to write. You’ve noticed those daggers she has on her right hand? She claims she grows them to pluck guitar strings. Since I know she uses a pick, I claim otherwise and am being proven correct as I write this. And I think that in the future you and I will just agree to ignore the signs of them whenever we happen to have our shirts off, okay? By the way, did you really think I would fall for that whole ‘I saved a cat from a tree and look what I got rewarded with’ spiel that you try?
Seriously, if you ever get the opportunity to snip her fingernails while she’s sleeping I will pay your tab at the Snack. All of it - I mean it!
Anyway, I had no idea of what was going on last night. Beyond what I thought was the bloody obvious, that is. It had to be Jun’s idea, because there is no way you would come up with that on your own. Tell me, that act of Jun’s while on the communicator with you, was it really an act? I know Sarie, and um, well... OKAY! I’ll just leave my thought out there, alright?
You did a great job with the innocence act. I just can’t seem to pull it off, but without the big blue eyes and long girly eyelashes I really don’t have much of a chance of it, do I? You and I are going to have a nice long chat about me taking all the heat for being a ladies’ man, though. And if you think that you’ll be able to get away with it again, I have the pictorial reminder. You idiot – you sent me blackmail fodder! I wonder what Hakase would say if I dropped that in his lap... Oh, that would be dropping Sarie in it as well – not good.
How about I just threaten to show Jinpei instead? Yeah, he is a little young for that... Fine, I will come up with a way of using it against you, Ken – you should have known better than handing something like that over to me.
CRAP!
You know what, Ken? This is getting too difficult – she’s got hold of one of my shuriken and I can’t write and deal with an irate Sarie at the same time. So here’s the situation. If you can get here by 1800 I will take you up on the offer of the three way. Sarie thinks you’ll make it, I don’t - so seriously, don’t rush, I’m not fond of sharing, not even with my best friend. 1801 and you’ve missed the boat.
Joe
PS. Sarie thanks you, again, for training her people. She felt they were getting way too lazy and blasé on a base that doesn’t see any action. They are military after all, and the boredom meant interdepartmental fighting was getting out of control. She was faced with having to replace half her staff if things didn’t improve. See? I’m not a bastard all the time, although it did help in getting the team spirit up, didn’t it?
Oh, and on a side note – the ISO doesn’t provide all my internet access. Unlike some, I make enough to have my own. And I knew about the deadline. Hakase told me last week. Apparently, ’Left Crescent Coral/met up with others on GodPhoenix. Found mecha/base. Argued with Ken about shooting a few bird missiles. Argued some more with Ken because I shot a few bird missiles. Entered base/mecha. Killed a few goons. Blew up mecha/base. Rat Bastard Katse escaped. Argued with/threw punch at Ken/Ken threw punch at me. Came back to Crescent Coral. Had debriefing/snore-fest with Hakase.’ is NOT enough for a mission report. Go figure.
Hakase also told me that if I didn’t get them all in on time then he would make you sit with me until they were done. He thinks that as leader you should have been on my back about them ages ago... My, aren’t we going to have so much fun at our matching desks?
Author's Chapter Notes:
All the usual disclaimers - nothing is mine except the weirdness...
Chapter End Notes:
A big thank you to Becky for the beta-ing and the encouragement.