A Shaggy Dog Tale by Dei
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A Shaggy Dog Tale  

Item: one dog of the Saint Bernard persuasion. Normal state: huge, drooly, hairy. Current state: huge, drooly, hairy, smelly with generous helpings of mud, oil and dried blood (all of which is of ex-goon origin, thank goodness).

Item: one boy with unshakable belief in self, particularly when it has to do with animals. Wishes to bathe said dog and return it to owner in spotless condition.

Item: permission to use bathtub granted reluctantly. Shampoo and towels also provided.

Action: boy leads dog up the stairs. Fetch camera from room. Wait.

Result: commotion begins upstairs, scored to the tune of dog nails on tile and boy's voice at first soothing, then pleading, then threatening. When it reaches pitch of words I did not think boy knew, go upstairs to see.

Result: one huge wet soapy hairy dog goes hurling past me when I open bathroom door.[1] Understandably reluctant to interrupt 200 lb missile's trajectory.

Result: one very wet, very soapy boy, liberally tufted with dog hair in middle of bathroom . Much mirth at his expense ensues.  Take picture for reminder purposes. Boy very indignant at this. More mirth ensues.

Unintended result: Dog chooses my freshly changed sheets to rub itself dry on.

From: The Lesser Compendium of Recipes for Domestic Disorder. Stay tuned for "Coffee Crisis" -- when someone leaves an empty tin in the cupboard. Without telling anyone.


 [1] Zark: Keyop has learned a very valuable lesson today: that even his remarkable affinity for animals, even when it's such a special dog as Orion, will only go so far.
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