[Report This]Date: 05/08/2012 6:33 PM Title: Chapter 1
I agree -- I'd like to see more hope for Mark before the arc is over.
Good portrayal of Tiny. He's scared for many good reasons. Mark might never be healthy again, let alone able to fight. Tiny and Darien won't be able to protect Princess and Keyop. I like how he coaches Jason, and Jason's reaction to it. He doesn't like needing it, but he likes being helpless even less.
Nice how Jason was both giving up his vehicle, and stuck driving one he's not good in (good being G-Force standards). Getting the situation from both sides.
Also nice bit with Jason trying to give Darien a second chance during the workout and agreeing that Darien's uniform is ugly. If Jason has enough time and energy soon enough, I can see Darien feeling more accepted, which will help his attitude, which will help other things. Life, unfortunately, usually doesn't let us give 110% to every project that deserves it.
Author's Response: Cricket, thanks for the review. I appreciate your insights. I'm editing the next story, Recovery, now. It's a bit of a struggle for the boys, sort of how I felt when I wrote it!
Date: 05/06/2012 3:19 PM Title: Chapter 1
Loved it! You really nailed the emotions in this one! Our poor Condor wasn't pleased about picking out glasses, was he? LOL Great work!
Author's Response: Springie, your picture really brought that scene to life - thanks again! I think that the Condor would hate the whole idea of glasses - a permanent reminder of physical weakness - until he realizes that his life is better off wearing them. Then I think he wouldn't care anymore.
Date: 05/05/2012 4:29 AM Title: Chapter 1
Sorry, ETA that I didn't mean "apart from that", I mean "along with that"! There could've been a misunderstandign there :)
[Report This]Date: 05/05/2012 4:26 AM Title: Chapter 4
Very realistic portraying the difficulty of choosing glasses :)
But, apart, from that, I loved the battle scenes, and Jason's turmoil!
Author's Response: Thanks, Daniella. I couldn't picture Jason in glasses at all until Springie drew me a picture! Then I was like, oh, of course. Glad you liked it!
[Report This]Date: 05/04/2012 7:28 PM Title: Chapter 4
I loved beta reading this and my favorite part is the Frog Mech. That and Jason feeling better about himself.
Author's Response: Thanks, Becky. :) I'll have to let my oldest know that you liked the frog mech. He was crazy about frogs at the time I wrote this.
[Report This]Date: 05/02/2012 7:46 AM Title: Chapter 1
I've been following this arc with a great deal of interest! You have captured the humanity of soldiers at war, fighting against all odds - their own bodies, even! - and how dedication to a cause becomes absolute.
You've done a great job bringing it all together; the emotion, the struggle, the sacrifices our birdies deal with. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks, Green! I really appreciate that. These stories have been rattling around in my head for some time and committing them to paper was harder than I expected. When stories are in draft form, they are more fluid and you don't have to worry about things like continuity and consistency. And when you've worked on something for a long time, I think it's hard to have any perspective on how someone just reading it might find things, so I'm glad that it's working for you. I've definitely got one more piece coming in this arc. After that, I'm not sure - depends upon if the muse moves me. :)
Date: 05/01/2012 8:12 PM Title: Chapter 1
Yeah you can't leave poor Mark like that. :) And sure, send it my way! Use the email link for me on the forum.
[Report This]Date: 05/01/2012 6:56 PM Title: Chapter 4
Yay another installment! Poor Jason, so many blows to his self-confidence and image, but he definitely looks like he's on an uphill climb after bottoming out. I find myself worried that the problem with the surgeon's Visa was in fact Spectra replacing the man with one of theirs, which could mean huge trouble for Mark. Or my imagination is just getting a little too excited. :) Looking forward to the next!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Chris. You know, when I first finished drafting this piece, I thought, oh yea, I'm finished with this arc. And then it occurred to me what a terrible position I'd left Mark in. So, the next installment for this one is a whopper - 80 pages at last count. I should send thank-you gifts to my beta-readers! And let me know if you want something to read -- I could always use another set of eyes. :)