Growing Pains
a page from Jinpei's diary.
March 19
Koon ban wa Diary-san
Great Swallow Jinpei...well not so great feeling after today...
I thought getting older ment things would get easier for me, boy was I ever wrong. Today I did a real dumb thing I'm still in pain over.
You see, we've been going at it hot and heavy for a week with the Galactor and it's had us all on non-stop pins and needles. Onechan can't afford to close the Snack even though we haven't gotten much sleep at all and you know me, I don't get my sleep I end up a cranky little thorn in Jun's side.
Well....I thought that since Ken's been staying over our place alot and spending alot of time with Jun, I'd bring Misako over to stay with me. Fair's fair right? Except I wasn't going to tell Jun about it. If I asked her she'd probably say no or she'd needle me every two minutes to make sure we wern't "doing the wild thing!" under the covers!
Well I brought Missy up the fire escape that runs out my window and she asks me. "Is your sister home?" I said to her "Yeah, but I don't want to bother her."
Well Missy's very honest, too honest I think as she stopped cold on the ladder. "Jinpei, you know my parents arn't home? You know Jun's going to freek out over this? Why don't you just ask her?"
I get all defensive on poor Missy, my bigger than britches ego shooting off at the mouth again. I don't know how she puts up with me but Missy always gets my goat.
"Allright......but I know she'll tell me a big fat no!" I took Missy back down to the buggy and walked into the Snack through the garage entrence.
Guess what, Jun jumps on me right them and there. "Comeon Jinpei, we're starting to get more people in and I need you behind the bar."
So I calmly asked her. "Onechan? I was going to ask you if Missy can stay here for a while?"
As I expected, she said "Is her parents at home?"
"Well no....but"
"No." Once again, as I expected.
So what did I do next? "Why not?"
"Jinpei...we're going to be working late ok, besides, if her parent's arn't home, I'm not letting her stay where they can't reach her."
Now by this time, Ken Washio shows up and puts 500 yen down for a beer. I said hi and gave him the beer then turned back to follow my sister around.
" Comeon Jun....Ken stays around the house almost all the time now."
" Jinpei, not another word about it. My minds made up so live with it!"
Guess what....here it comes.
" Jun, That's not fair!! Ken sleeps over and there's no problem! But I try to bring Missy over and you go into a four alarm fire mode!"
"Jinpei!! I told you to drop it!" She yelled back at me.
Now it hits......me and my big mouth!
"I WISH YOU WERE DEAD JUN! IT WOULD MAKE THINGS ALOT EASIER AROUND HERE!"
I was totaly spun up. I walked right past Ken and around the bar......now he hits me!
"Jinpei! That was the worst thing I ever heard you say to her! Say your sorry!" Ken said to me.
" Why don't you shut the fuck up!" I just went off in Ken's face and pushed the whole bottle of beer into his lap, bad move, but I didn't seem to care as I walked out and got in the tracker.
I was pritty pumped, drove like a maniac with the music up, I didn't realize what I had been doing untill Missy slapped me hard in the face when we got out of the car!
She was angry, I was angry, Jun was going to rip my head off or worse and Ken......oh boy I was just exploding over everyone.
Missy didn't say a word when she went back into her house without me.Then it hit.....
"I wish you were dead!"
Diary, I was ten and I'm fourteen now but I always promised never, not a day in hell that I would ever say that about Jun. Then to know I had said it? Everything just crashed, everything.......
" I thought to myself, "How dare you even think of it! How would you like it stupid. Maybe she hates you now, maybe she'll tell you to pack your sorry ass and leave!
I didn't get home till late Diary and I was one tear balling sucker!
Jun was in her bed room when I got in, worse, Ken was gone! "Where's Ken?" I asked.
" I sent him home. Told him he couldn't come back and stay."
That wasn't what I wanted! I'd drove Ken away from her! "Call him up Onechan! Get him back here!" I said that who knows how many times. "I didn't mean it!! I didn't mean it!!" Said that over twenty times over too.
"Jinpei?...." Jun took my shoulders and forced me to sit.
" Sis I'm sorry! I don't want you to die!" Boy was I working up a river here.
" Calm down Jinpei!" She asked as she figured out what I'd said earlier.
"I wished you were dead! Onechan....." I said it like I was the lowest from of life known to man.
I could feel Jun pull me close and the sound of her heart just made me bust out even more.
" Jinpei....I know growing up isn't easy, I've been there. So things like this were bound to happen someday. I know you didn't mean it."
That's the one magical thing about Jun... she forgives, sometimes to my shock for even the worst things I've ever done to her over the years. I haven't been easy to live with and by rights she could have left me to rot in that rathole of an orphins home we came from, sometimes I count my luck that she didn't. You know diary......I'd give everything I own for her, I realy would despite all the truble I put her through. Growing up is painfull......then there's always my sister who's the best medicine I ever had.
Gotta go! Me, Missy, Jun, and Ken are gonna get fat on pizza and Godzilla movies!
Your friend Jinpei TGS.
