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Challenge in a Can
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April 21, 2019, 10:08:16 PM
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Gatchaman Fanfic Archive  |  Discussion  |  Fanfic Discussion and Writing (Moderators: cathrl, Dei, Veronika)  |  Challenge in a Can 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Challenge in a Can  (Read 3987 times)
Julieann
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« Reply #15 on: September 01, 2008, 04:28:14 PM »

Words: warrior, maiden, sacrifice

Princess woke up with a start, her head throbbing. For some reason she was upright, her head having dropped to her chest.

"Let the sacrifice begin! The maiden shall burn!" a gravely voice bellowed out angrily.

If she weren't awake before, she was now. Only to find herself securely tied to something flat behind her, swinging softly in the air. Opening her eyes, her first sight was a pit of glowing red underneath her, noxious clouds of vapors swirling up around her.

Narrowing her eyes, she tried to focus beyond the pit itself. Around the rim near-naked male bodies danced frenetically to the dull beat of multiple drums, illuminated by the glow of the pit and crackling fires placed around the rim. Then she saw a platform angled out over the pit, a group of warriors with spears and knives standing on it, one warrior with red feathery plumes dangling from his hair standing in front of the others, glaring at her. Looking up, she saw one thin rope hanging her from a wood framework.

On top of that, she was in her civilian clothes.

Oh great. How did she get here?

***

New words: radio, mountain, freighter
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Julieann

Who needs a Gun when you have a Sonic Boomerang?
Nephedra
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« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2008, 07:39:27 PM »

Here I go again......maybe I can somehow combine these into a story!   Grin

words: radio, mountain, freighter

Jason climbed the last stretch of hill just as the sun broke the horizon, casting early morning shadows.  Crouching, he made his way to the far edge of the cliff to get a better view all the while staying between the low brush.  He was thankful for his uniform at this mountain elevation.  It may be summer, but here the ground was just beginning to thaw. 

The sun, now higher in the sky, brought the base below in the narrow canyon into better view.  He lay prone in the dew covered grass, positioning himself to get a good view and a clear shot if necessary.  There was little movement below.  He hoped the intel was correct this time and this was not merely another long hike in the mountains to view a spectacular sunrise.

The door to the larger building slid open and a small group of green clad guards emerged.  Jason shifted his position slightly and flexed his fingers.  The transport freighter emerged from the hanger. Jason readied for his shot to attach the beacon.  From across the road another group of soldiers approached the freighter, a hover cart with a large piece of equipment in tow.  Scientists in white coats walked along side. 

Jason jerked his head up.  The mission parameters just changed.  He was sure that was Dr. Hedler, the supposedly dead Dr. Hedler.  He did not want to break radio silence, but he was sure Mark would understand.

New words:  promise, kaleidoscope, float

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"Remember; no matter where you go, there you are."- B. Banzai
Nephedra
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« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2008, 12:31:18 AM »

After I finished yet another one of these little snippets I notice something interesting about the ones I have written.  They have less dialogue than I thought they would have.  Writing the descriptive stuff has always been more difficult for me.  Every beta reader has always said - "you know you could fill this out with more description".  This has been a good excercise for me.  I think I will keep doing them.  Of course I really need to finish my stories, but having a hard time finding the time to sit down a do a good block of writing......moving to a new house will do that!  Lol.  I now spend my time unpacking boxes and painting!  LOL.
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"Remember; no matter where you go, there you are."- B. Banzai
Julieann
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« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2008, 03:51:40 AM »

This has helped me in focusing on specific portions of a scene where something HAPPENS, where there is a CHANGE.  No fluff, no wandering around, no filler. It's getting to the point. I think it's been influencing my writing in a very good way, and is reinforcing what I'm learning in my writing class.

Horrah!

Neat to hear what you've noticed, Nephedra. Sounds like this has been a very good thing for you to play around with. It'll be interesting to see if it translates over to your longer work. Smile

By the way, I'll be in chat this weekend. I'm having a writing weekend, so if anyone wants a 'write-in', come on in!  Hyper
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Julieann

Who needs a Gun when you have a Sonic Boomerang?
Gatchaman Fanfic Archive  |  Discussion  |  Fanfic Discussion and Writing (Moderators: cathrl, Dei, Veronika)  |  Challenge in a Can « previous next »
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